The concept and practice of Consensual Non-consent is such a huge dichotomy.   In the Kink community we live by Safe, Sane, & Consensual.  Each scene is negotiated and consented to.  So the concept of consenting to give up our ability to consent is so fascinating to me.   In order to be able to give up our ability to consent, the power exchange relationship with a partner needs to have an extraordinary level of trust.  You have to be able to absolutely trust that they will keep you safe.  If the Dominant is making all the decisions, then you need to trust that they won’t go against your hard limits or put you in physical or psychological/emotional danger.

   This intense dynamic is not for everyone.  You need to be honest with yourself, is this the type of dynamic that you want.  It’s very intense and maybe too intense for your ability to manage and to thrive in it.  I know, for a fact, that this type of relationship isn’t for me.  I’m too much of a control freak and don’t know that I could ever have that much trust in another human being.  

So really, it’s just about what type of power exchange relationship do you want.

ML

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