Is it Poly or an Open Relationship?


Dear Mistress,

   Is a polyamorous D/s relationship the same thing as a open relationship with a play partner/sub?

   We have a collared submissive. He’s allowed to find other partners that we don’t play with. We are allowed to find other play partners that he does not play with. But we do consider this a relationship of sorts.  How do I explain what and who we are using polyamorous terms?

   No, the parameters for each type of relationship are different. It really does come down to feelings and what type of relationship you have with these people.   Both Polyamory & Open Relationships fall under the umbrella of “Ethical Non-Monogamy”.  Polyamory is defined as having multiple romantic relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.  So you can consider how you feel about the parties involved and if there is a romantic connection there.   

   Open relationships are defined as the parties involved are free to find additional partners where there is no romantic intent or interest.  

   So it sounds like the relationship dynamics you have described above is clearly an open relationship unless there are romantic feelings which were not mentioned above. 

   So when introducing a play partner, you can refer to them as a partner and that should do nicely.

ML