If you play often enough, you are bound to have a bad scene or two or even more over time. Don’t stress about what it means. Use it as valuable information that you can put to good use in the future.
Conceivably, there will be partners that you thought would be a good fit for you. You negotiate the scene and begin to play. As the scene progresses, you feel like your not resonating with the play or the partner, you can always safe word out, either as a top or a bottom. It’s okay to not be compatible with people!! Just like vanilla dating, you will not be attracted to and compatible with every one!
If you want to try out a new skill set or use a toy you are not very skilled in, co-topping is your best bet. Watch the scenes around you and see if you can find people who are doing the thing you want to do and when they are free, go to them, introduce yourself and see if they can help you or is willing to co-top in a scene with you. This is a great way to learn and the responsibility for the entire scene is shared between both of you.
Be your own best advocate!
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