There is a fallacy that says there is only one person for every other person. I commonly hear, “She’s the one… or he’s the one…” I don’t believe this to be true. I don’t believe we get one shot at this thing called Love. I think there are lots of choices and experiences with individuals that are rewarding and can lead to love. I believe that no one person can be 100% of what their partner wants or needs. So there is no the 1… Dan Savage, a relationship advice columnist says “There are people who are 70% of the 1 and so we round that shit up to 1.” I also believe that the human heart is capable of so much love that it’s infinite in it’s capacity to love. We have multiple children and we love them all. We have multiple friends and family and we love them all. I don’t qualify love depending on who I am loving. To me, love is love.

   This is where Poly and Open Relationships come into play…. We can have all these experiences with many people and still maintain our Primary relationship. When discussing my open relationship, I often say that my husband will never cheat on me. He doesn’t have to. I acknowledge that I can’t be everyone he needs, nor can he be everyone I need. This is why our relationship works for us. We allow ourselves to be who we are. We revel in our shared experiences and we get excited for the other when seeing our secondary relationships. We are both happy and get our individual needs met.

   Never let anyone tell you who you are allowed to love or how many people you are allowed to love.

ML

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